ASHBURN, Va. – By the time Zane Gonzalez “doinked” the Washington Commanders into the NFC divisional round Sunday night, the journeyman kicker had already gone viral on social media.
With NBC’s cameras trained on him as the climax of the 23-20 Washington victory approached, footage of him adjusting his socks and moving his hands through his hair led to posts ranging from sarcastic to bewilderment to cruel. The truth, however, is that Gonzalez has dealt with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) since childhood. This was simply how OCD manifested itself in his pre-kick routine.
“It’s kind of a little routine, going through it every time,” Gonzalez said two days before the Commanders’ NFC divisional-round matchup against the Detroit Lions. “For me, it’s just more of the same.
“It just happened to be on a bigger stage, so there’s just a lot more attention on it and stuff like that, so it was just a little bit more highlighted now moving forward. But, for me, nothing would change. It would just all remain the same.”
Ever since Sunday, Gonzalez said he’s received a “tremendous amount of support” from the community, along with messages from scores of people who have shared their story about the condition that can entail repetitive behaviors or rituals that people perform in an attempt to manage thoughts that never seem to dissipate.
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“I just wish more people would understand, like, it’s hard to describe the mindset that’s going on in the OCD,” he said. “So it’s like, whenever you’re having one of those situations come up, you truly – whatever it may be – you think the worst possible situation’s going to come of it. It could be the most unrealistic, crazy, unimaginable thing and people will be like, ‘You’re crazy for thinking that stuff.’ Which, I’m aware I’m crazy to think that stuff. But that tick just constantly is kneading at you. It’s never-ending. It’s always just there. It’s just one of those things you just kind of get used to and you can grow accustomed to.”
Gonzalez has been open about his experience with OCD for a few years, saying it’s something he’s learned to manage over the years.
“There’s all sorts of people that walk through life dealing with struggles on a day-to-day (basis), and a lot of it’s at home that people don’t see,” the 29-year-old said.
For example, Gonzalez said, he spent Wednesday night resetting his alarm about 100 times to ensure it would go off in the morning.
“Sure, OK kind of gets on my wife’s nerves a little bit, but at times it’s just kind of how it goes,’ Gonzalez said.
As a kid, Gonzalez would misspell a word or write a letter wrong and spend the next three hours writing the same word over and over while ignoring the larger assignment. His father would have to take him on walks or outside to practice soccer.
“I’ve definitely gotten better since I was a younger kid, but just now as a grown-up, I feel like I’m able to handle it a lot better,” he said.
Gonzalez’s wife, Lizzy, made a pair of social media posts simultaneously highlighting her husband’s OCD while defending him from those who were being nasty about it all. She watches him during games, even while the action is elsewhere, so the hand-through-hair move doesn’t faze her – it’s something he does at the practice field.
“For us, it’s just funny that it’s just on such a big stage and how it all unfolded,” Gonzalez said.
Even if Lizzy may take slightly more offense to the online trolls.
“For me, I’ve missed some big kicks in my career, I’ve made some big kicks, so it’s just kind of even keel, keep going about it and keep on moving,” said Gonzalez, who kicked at Arizona Sate in college. “She’s getting better about handling it, I would say, for the most part.”
Gonzalez can certainly take a joke, and his teammates have helped him make sure the rituals aren’t something he needs to be self-conscious about. In a special teams meeting this week, long-snapper Tyler Ott said, the specialist group of Ott, Gonzalez and punter Tress Way – who is the holder on field goals – received an award for their execution on the game-winner in Tampa Bay.
“I think everybody in the locker room has something that they revert back to to get into the moment,” Ott said. “Obviously, he just got a little more attention for it.”
Ott said he wouldn’t have known Gonzalez had OCD but has seen the hand move through the hair and the adjusting of the socks for months now.
“He’s not sensitive about it,” Ott said.
Commanders head coach Dan Quinn said he’s never discussed Gonzalez’s condition with him, but he’s “super happy” that Gonzalez has been open about it in the days since he helped Washington advance.
“If that is a chance for him to assist one other person, I think that takes just a lot of courage and tells you a lot about who he is, not just as a ball player,” Quinn said, “but as a man.”
Gonzalez was a seventh-round draft pick by the Cleveland Browns in 2017 and was released and signed by the Arizona Cardinals the following season. He spent time with the Lions, Carolina Panthers and San Francisco 49ers but prior to this season hadn’t appeared in an NFL game since 2021.
Gonzalez has been on the Commanders’ active roster since Dec. 2 as the fill-in for Austin Seibert, who was the team’s primary kicker before hip and groin injuries sidelined him. Cade York started the season as the team’s kicker but was released after Week 1. Greg Joseph also kicked Week 15 with Seibert and Gonzalez injured.
“He’s been great, in terms of, we’ve had a lot of turnover at that position,” special teams coordinator Larry Izzo said Thursday. “But he’s definitely stabilized the position and he’s come in and done his job, and so we’re really happy with him.
“He has his process, and everyone is unique in terms of things like that. But yeah, try not to make too much a big deal about it. Obviously, he went out there and made the kick, and that’s all that counts.”
With four kickers this year, having Way and Ott excel – the team cut long-snapper Cameron Cheeseman last season – has helped keep the transition smooth. Ott called it a “strange year” for the specialists between the injuries and roster moves, but that like the rest of the locker room, they’ve become a tight-knit unit by having one another over for dinner and a drink or grabbing a meal together on the road.
“Thankfully me and Tress have been a consistent duo that makes it easier operation-wise … we just set it up for the kickers as best as we can,” Ott said.
For Washington, Gonzalez is 8-for-10 (including playoffs) and made all three in the Commanders’ postseason victory, while being perfect on extra-point attempts (21 of 21). Earlier in the game against the Buccaneers, he made a season-long 52-yard field goal.
“It’s just truly been awesome,” Gonzalez said of his time with the Commanders, “and I’m just incredibly grateful for the whole organization, honestly, as a whole. Everybody here is truly, truly amazing people. They got something special going, and I’m just happy to be a part of it and do my little part.”